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In Hot Pursuit of Happiness

The Disdainful Eye

According to a new friend, I suffer from the Dangerous Disdainful Eye. It is the Disdainful Eye that is preventing me from seeing the apparently THOUSANDS of suitable men that there are all around me, among whom, she assures me, there is my Baby Daddy. Smiling tightly, I told her that there may be thousands of men in the WORLD, but I wasn’t looking for thousands of men. I want only ONE, and he has to be the Right One. My list of requirements, I went on to assure her a little hotly (though I had promised myself not to get emotional) is NOT that prohibitive. I mean, SERIOUSLY. What’s WRONG with wanting a man whose taller than me? Or one who has BOTH a jawline AND a neck, each in their proper, separate places? What’s wrong with objecting to knock-knees, spaced out teeth or a narrow mind? What’s wrong with having a preference for a bilingual, Masters degree holder who has travelled outside of his country? And WHAT is wrong with my wanting an age-appropriate 35-40 year-old, as opposed to someone my Dad’s age? I ask you!

Well, in fact, I asked her, but she didn’t seem phased. Said that a Disdainful Eye sees nothing but objections –and I have to admit that she’s got me there. If you’re looking for something to object to in anything or anyone, you’ll find plenty. It’s an OCD thing that happens to everyone, once in a while, because they’re indulging a bad mood, or because they’re a witch as were born critical, or because they’re simply nasty. I’m NOT nasty. I don’t even think I’m PICKY. I just don’t want to pass on to my children things that they could do without –SUCH AS a weak jawline that melts and disappears into what could barely called a neck. SUCH AS knock-knees. SUCH AS a need for braces at birth. SUCH AS narrow-minded perceptions of the world and stupid limited opinions… I mean, I’m not being crazy here. I’m being socially and environmentally conscious. It’s a GOOD thing to consciously favour good genes. And if I turn out to be the worst mother of the decade, then at least my children can sit and stare at their reflections and say: “Well at least she tried to give us the very best looks and health that she could manage.” …Right?

Ever in pursuit!

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About Ciggie Cramond

Ciggie Cramond is an author, writer, editor and translator currently living in Nairobi, where she is actively writing her next book, supporting Arsenal, and looking for The One... Online, naturally!

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