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In Hot Pursuit of Happiness

Give it to me Straight, why don’t you…

Friends

You know how you love the closest of your friends for being truthful to you? No beating about the bush, telling it to you like it is, straight up like a shot of liquor, take no prisoners -in your face? Well let me tell you something. Sometimes? All of that is NOT necessary. There is a time for lies too! TRULY. There’s a time when friends just need to hear what they want to hear. Whatever the reason (denial, usually -or extreme self-doubt.) Sometimes, you have to give them THAT. You know, go along with whatever they’re telling themselves, until the truth sets in. Ease the process. A friend in need is a balm. So what do you call a friend who writes me the following? (VERBATIM:)

“I agree with you that SEX WITHOUT ANY SORT OF ATTRACTION / INTEREST FROM BOTH PARTIES / WARMTH / is like shagging a prostitute…no meaning , feelings, dissatisfaction in the end…
So , yes an ideal exploration of another from top to bottom of another and he of you, is more comfortable in a ‘marriage or partnership’…tra lal la , that will continue you hope. Any thing that goes that far, sparks feelings within and without the body, mind, torso, brain, sexual areas in every which part of the corps….over which one has very very little control ! Do you want it to continue, can you switch it off? Will it drive you even crazier….? 
Are you sure that you want to start with SEX IMMEDIATELY  with Mc Mushy? Why not meet him first and eat and drink and see where you are  with him and what you think of him,. It is interesting to have met him only thro’ INTERNET & WRITING ?! Maybe he is a transvestite / amputee ?§ I’m sure their organs work just as well, / cross dressser / ugly as hell? / boring bastard to talk to / HIV+… ….WHY has he resorted to internet dating? no time to go out or wants the fun of a long distance date? (men are always in for a chase for new flesh, and the internet is sort of easy pickings, depending how choosy you are ?§§
BE CAREFUL…HE MAY SATISFY A SEXUAL NEED BUT GIVE YOU A TERRIBLE “HANGOVER”……….
Far be it from me to tell you who to have sex with, but beware of the wonderful picture “painted ” by an internet connection, who can WRITE lots, but may be a sleezy, nasty, boring bastard! Better to know the person face to face first, before jumping into bed with ……………”

BEst-Friend

The terms of my friendship with Braveheart, as I call him, clearly need revision. I mean, imagine his ‘support’ should I ever become suicidal? “Don’t be stupid,” I can imagine him calling to tell me. “Slitting your wrists is for the movies. In real life, gunshots are more effective.”

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About Ciggie Cramond

Ciggie Cramond is an author, writer, editor and translator currently living in Nairobi, where she is actively writing her next book, supporting Arsenal, and looking for The One... Online, naturally!

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