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In Hot Pursuit of Happiness

Screw it!

Screw from computers

Screw from computers (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

So… I’ve met someone. Well, not really. I mean, I’ve met them online. His name’s…. actually, I don’t know!!! I’ll call him ‘Mushy’ which is part of his handle. Mushy wrote me a provocative message a week ago, and in an idle moment I replied, and the rest is -well, ongoing history.

I’ve no idea what Mushy looks like, as his profile’s pretty threadbare, but on this particular site that I met him through, there’s a space for people thoughts, and his filled that in pretty well. As far as I can tell, it shows that he has an original mind, places a healthy emphasis on his personal happiness that does not seem to overlap with selfishness, and is equally healthily sensitive. As in, he won’t cry at a movie, or when he’s yelled at, but is aware of people’s feelings. Finally, he’s funny, which is basically the nail on my ‘Love Coffin’; you want me hooked to you? Get me laughing, and I’m done. It’s too bad really, I wish I demanded a bit more…

You know the trouble with unexpected good things? They unsettle the HELL out of you. I wasn’t ready for starting things up with Mushy, and now that we’re in the throes of written conversation, I’m beginning to feel… insecure. In the last few months, you see, I’ve been working up to the peaks of ripeness. I think I might just be ready for a relationship, with all the crap that this entails. I’m feeling very open to sinking into someone’s arms that I don’t know that well, and allowing myself to be hugged. I’m feeling quite pleasurably tingly at the idea of kissing (I had planned to hold a memorial for my lips in December, so thank Heavens for this!) I’m even feeling up to someone getting up in my grill, wading into my space, and extracting some intimacy. Not so long ago, I’d have gotten out my pristine Self-sabotage toolbox, and began to render screws loose. But no, I’m feeling increasingly confident that I could date, and actually wait and see where it might go… which means that, unless Mushy turns out to be 3ft tall, has none of his own teeth, and I can smell him coming -he just might be in with  a chance.

Mushy lives in Nairobi, incidentally. Which should be making me feel twitchy, but isn’t. Good signs? I’d say so!

Not so much In Pursuit, perhaps, but definitely in the flow…

 

 

 

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About Ciggie Cramond

Ciggie Cramond is an author, writer, editor and translator currently living in Nairobi, where she is actively writing her next book, supporting Arsenal, and looking for The One... Online, naturally!

Discussion

4 thoughts on “Screw it!

  1. This made me smile, fingers crossed for you.

    Like

    Posted by Alt-Shift-Enter | September 4, 2012, 11:56 am
  2. Good story. Hope it turns out well 😉

    Like

    Posted by charliecountryboy | September 4, 2012, 1:16 pm

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