I have to admit that it’s true what they say: “Wisdom comes with Age.” If not all, then at least some of it –the most important parts of it, perhaps. When I think of the things I fervently believed as a teen, it’s CRINGE-making. Even some of the things I believed just a decade ago are supremely embarrassing to me now, and I feel glad, so glad that I’ve reached the perfect place, in my early 30s, where I can laugh at latter-year absurdities in behaviour, and gained the open-mindedness, tolerance, patience and necessary senses of responsibility and humour that enable me to do better, every day. Because I’ve grown.
Whether this is normal or not, I don’t know, but I can actually feel my growth. Some mysterious short time ago, I began to make better decisions, to see the world a little differently and most importantly, to see my circumstances differently. Suddenly, everything lost that edge, and became fuzzier –and funnier. Perhaps even a little friendlier. They certainly stopped being so cut-and-dried. I’ve always been sensitive, but somehow, other people’s feelings and perceptions are clearer to me. I am less quick to judge –I am even capable of not judging. I used to be Queen Solomona –without the wisdom of ever considering the suggestion of splitting the baby. Somewhere along the way, black and white issues swirled together into grey; yet I know precisely where I stand.
It’s amazing. It’s refreshing, and oh, I can’t TELL you HOW relaxing. Suddenly, the off-cuff advice not to take life “so seriously” isn’t just something losers and drunkards say –it works! I’m still not sure what ‘choosing to be happy’ means, as I’m still pretty sure you can only be as happy as your circumstances allow you to be, and if I were homeless, friendless and cold, I would not consider it some kind of blessing… but I AM sure that ‘doing the right thing’ in every situation possible, though a tougher way to live, is the very best way to live. I know the joy of doing something selflessly, and it’s pretty awesome.
And another saying that’s true? “Aprés la pluie, le beau temps!” After the rain (read pain) the sun’ll come out –even if it isn’t going to happen tomorrow. I’ll even believe that ‘Life begins at 40’… and don’t the more evil ones of you say that I kind of have to!
Romantically, those men that made me swoon at 18 have no sway with me now. I know myself better. I like myself better. And so I know much better what I’m looking for; whom I would suit, and who would suit me.
Yet, quite independently, I can hide the Bible away and lust… erm… I mean, enjoy indulging, visually, in a bit of nugget. Olympian, Hollywoodian or otherwise. A small, hopefully harmless guilty pleasure –like a large glass of perfectly chilled, crisp white wine on a hot summer afternoon… or a rich dessert.
In “The Sound of Music”, young Liesl couldn’t believe it when Maria assured her that she would meet “Someone older and wiser….” I’ve agreed with Liesl most of my life, but not any more. Not for a good long while. I believe instead that, like Maria, some day soon, Someone will be “standing there loving me,” whether or not he should, and I’ll think: “Somewhere in my youth, or childhood, I must have done something good!”
Ever In Hot Pursuit of Happiness!