I’m alerted to the fact that Seal and Heidi Klum have ‘separated’ and have decided that my pursuit of happiness must now absolutely take on a direction OTHER than love and marriage. I mean, SERIOUSLY. The status of the institution of marriage has clearly surpassed CRISIS mode, and I feel personally devastated by this last blow…
I have just had a bar of chocolate, and will consider this the peak of my pursuit of happiness for this weekend. I have also sunbathed, had a walk, and am about to enjoy a cup of freshly brewed tea.
Earlier, I tried literally smelling a flower, but it just smelled like… a flower, which I don’t like anyway. Petting my dogs was imminently satisfying, and I’m beginning to think that having a dog might very adequately compensate for having a man, eventually. They’re always affectionate, never leave smelly socks for you to pick up, and never boss you around. It’s perfect, really. He shall be trained to guard myself and the children, and also have the best manners of any dog that ever lived. I shall call him ‘Hubby’ and tell him about my day over a nightcap, when the children have gone to bed. And when I die, no one could ever say that I was that old woman in the corner who lived with cats. They’ll say I was the one who lived with her Hubby –which actually makes perfect sense.
Stats? 3 old Europeans, including a 50-year old Norwegian, just now, who looks like he has a record. 4 Kenyans, one of whom seems to expect me to jump at the chance of meeting him, and another who wrote to tell me how wonderfully he thinks of himself… I got to the end of paragraph one and closed the browser window. The other two just sound ‘shady’ and I’m learning to respect my instinct. This week, I’ll give myself a mental health break, and not check my accounts at all.
Hans has written me a sweet email, which has cheered me up, and an ex has just sent me a message that says ‘Happy New Year’… which should summarise why we didn’t stay together long.
I mean… Happiness CAN be found elsewhere -right?