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In Hot Pursuit of Happiness

A Pin in It

I need to put a sturdy pin in any interaction with my relatives, and press PAUSE to boot, because an older spinster cousin just sent me an email of encouragement on my quest to find Mr Happiness, saying, and I quote:
“… but don’t worry until you find yourself voluntarily taking up crochet.”
I’ve actually been thinking of learning how to knit myself a scarf, and maybe get one done in time for our next Winter (in June). From knitting to crochet is but a step, so I am now battling a spurt of rising panic, wondering if this means anything. DOES IT?
Incidentally, Hans has gone awhol, no doubt because of the excellent first impression I made on him –or perhaps he didn’t like my face. Or my butt. Or perhaps I bored him silly. I know he’s been ill, and that now he’s better, and I didn’t remember his birthday (though he was good enough to tell me after it had passed) but somehow, from what I remember of my personal experience of dating and relationships… there should be more, right? Like more notes, or messages, or something. Still, I have Plan Z, and between A and Z are 24 men to be slotted in within this year, all of whom can’t possibly be disasters.
Or perhaps they will. In which case I shall present myself with a Spinster-For-Life Award (including a fancy dinner for one and lots of champagne), and give up on the whole thing in favour of ‘good works’ …and crochet. It’s traditional, after all, and I’m a traditional girl. That’s what spinsters did, in the 100s. They became charity workers and nurses and care givers, lavishing (or in some cases unleashing) their love everywhere else that they possibly could, since a man and children were no longer a viable option. In my case, happily, a child will always be an option, and I have every intention of adopting, whenever I get to that place where I am able to offer a good, stable life for a beautiful child with Mozart-, Neureyev-, Michelangelo– AND/OR Einstein-like potential. Hopefully. Or maybe they’ll just be average, which is fine, because average people tend to surprise you. I might be a little strict about the friends s/he hangs out with, though, because no child of mine is going to surprise me with a talent for pickpocketing or conmanship. No siree.
Recent developments? Really? Yeah, OK. I got an email from this dude (this is verbatim,  copied and pasted, I SWEAR):
“hi i saw your profile and I really like it wants to meet you, guido looking serious relationship kiss to start family”
I have no comment. NONE.

About Ciggie Cramond

Ciggie Cramond is an author, writer, editor and translator currently living in Nairobi, where she is actively writing her next book, supporting Arsenal, and looking for The One... Online, naturally!


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