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In Hot Pursuit of Happiness


My date with Hans was yesterday… and it was AWFUL.

For one, he was UGLY.  Except he was tall and lovely, with eyes in the perfect shade of blue, and a rather fit body.

He was also supremely BORING… except he was so open, we talked about an impressively wide array of subjects, and he was generous with his stories, making me laugh three times a minute. Turns out he also has a tongue-in-cheek, naughty streak, which is ALWAYS charming!

He was forbiddingly ungenerous –except he would have been willing to pay for anything I wanted. He was also considerate and girls, that’s the sign of a good man.

He was rather overly sexed, and pawed me incessantly –except he never so much as put a hand on my ass. (I was the one to ask if I could give him a kiss on the cheek, after he so gallantly dropped me home.)

He DID drink too much –except… that was actually ME. Having not been out for a good while, and refused a calming glass of wine by my brother, before I left for the date, despite the fact that I was slightly shaky with nerves… (God knows what would have happened if I HAD taken it) I proceeded to make the best impression by going on an unladylike, small bender.  The only plus about this is that I didn’t make my over-made-up ass fall over, in its Horrendous Heels –or otherwise consciously embarrass him… I think. OMG.

In other words… He was perfectly LOVELY. And what do you do with a perfectly lovely date?  You see him again. And if he’s made special efforts (battled his way across town, for example) you have to make some too. He was even good enough to text me, (as ordered in my best Nutcracker-style –not that I AM a Nutcracker, or that he’s the type to take it!) that he got home safe, God Bless his cotton socks.

In short, I had a perfectly terrible time, and don’t count on hearing any more about Hans… except you should!

About Ciggie Cramond

Ciggie Cramond is an author, writer, editor and translator currently living in Nairobi, where she is actively writing her next book, supporting Arsenal, and looking for The One... Online, naturally!


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