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In Hot Pursuit of Happiness

The Third Date is NOT the Sex Date

I am reading through ‘Act Like a Lady, Think Like A Man’ by Steve Harvey, again (if you’d like to know where to get a FREE copy, please write) and am thinking again about why experts advise against having sex with a man too soon. 

Men like sex –they’re programmed to spread their seed as far and wide as possible, and, evidently, they’re doing it quite happily, whether married or no. Sex is an appetite, and, just like a meal, it is often soon forgotten, once ingested. They’ll do it with anything attractive to them (barring that, just anything) that is available, and because they’ve satisfied their appetite, they’re gone… though they may frequent the same establishment again, if the food was good. And remains available. But there will be no commitment there. Indeed, commitment will be difficult, under these circumstances, unless you interact and see each other frequently. 

Takeaway food is faceless, and so is ‘takeaway sex’. The man isn’t making love to YOU, he’s satisfying his appetite. For this reason, you do NOT have sex with a man you are dating, until you are sure that he will not be making love (satisfying his appetite) but making love to YOU. True love-making involves personal, emotional interaction, and not simply a series of moves. I don’t know where the Third Date rule came from, but it’s completely wrong. By the third date, the only thing the man knows for sure is whether he wants to take you to bed or not… But then, he knew that on the first date. 

It may not take 90 days. It may take more –or less. But the premise is the same. There must be significant investment on both sides. Be Expensive. Don’t be a takeaway! 

I am ending this post with SINCERE, WHOLEHEARTED thanks to all who might have sent up a prayer for me, or talked to Jesus personally on my behalf because… I’ve hit GOLD! 

A couple of posts ago, a mentioned my SINGLE viable prospect of the moment, a 32-year old German? (We’ll call him Hans.) Well, today, he WROTE. And he wrote beautifully. And if you can’t tell, yet, I’m EXCITED! So, I wrote him back, and I’ll just tell you to watch this space for (discreet) developments!


About Ciggie Cramond

Ciggie Cramond is an author, writer, editor and translator currently living in Nairobi, where she is actively writing her next book, supporting Arsenal, and looking for The One... Online, naturally!


One thought on “The Third Date is NOT the Sex Date

  1. I feel like I have a distinct advantage since I can actually read up on the last 2 years of your pursuit!Gotta love writers…Thanks for adding the (discreet) before 'developments'!32-year-old 'Hans', who is closer to 34 by now…


    Posted by dagsch | January 7, 2012, 7:16 pm

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